What to Do When Your Man Can't Get it Up
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What to Do When Your Man Can't Get it Up

How Mental, Emotional, or Physical Struggles Might Be Hindering His Performance

It’s a scenario every man dreads: things are starting to get hot and heavy, and he can’t get it up. What’s the problem? Why is he having trouble maintaining an erection? Is it something he can fix?

In this article, we’ll delve into the common causes of erectile dysfunction and how you can take steps towards fixing it.

Why Can’t He Maintain an Erection?

Great question! But first you should understand that erection problems are extremely common. In fact, according to the Cleveland Clinic, most men will have erection problems in roughly 20 percent of their sexual encounters. 

The causes can be widely varied. They could be emotional, psychological, lifestyle-based, or the result of a medical condition. They could result simply from old age.

For younger men, erection problems tend to stem from emotional and psychological roots such as anxiety and depression. They are also tied to drug and alcohol use, which younger men tend to use more compared to older men. 

When it comes to older men, decreased blood flow to the penis (which causes erectile dysfunction) is the usual suspect. Similar to the plaque buildup that induces a heart attack, plaque builds in the veins of the penis, which decreases the amount of blood flow. This results in less satisfying erections and eventually, completely flaccidity. 

Generally, problems with erections can be tied to two different causes: emotional and physical.

Some of the most common emotional triggers include:

  • Stress, potentially with work, hobbies, the news, or the relationship
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Feeling nervous

There are also several physical or medical reasons why the erection just isn’t happening. These include:

  • Heart disease
  • High blood pressure
  • Obesity
  • Multiple sclerosis
  • Parkinson’s disease
  • Certain antidepressants
  • Diabetes (50 percent of men with diabetes report exhibiting this)
  • Low testosterone
  • Drug use or alcoholism
  • Peyronie’s disease
  • High cholesterol
  • Trauma or injury
  • Treatments (prostate cancer/radiation)
  • Lifestyle (being overweight, smoking, drinking, not enough exercise, poor diet)

If My Man Can’t Get Hard, What Can He Do?

Arousal is a tricky thing. To get an erection, several stars need to align. His hormones, muscles, nerves, and blood flow all need to be synchronized. When there’s a disruption, he needs to find a way to get everything synced up again. 

It’s likely that nerves or stresses are getting the best of him. To get an erection, he needs to feel relaxed enough to allow blood flow to reach his penis. If he’s too stressed or worked up, it will only make things worse. 

In these situations, here’s what you can do. 

  • Offer reassurance. He’s probably suffering a blow to his ego at this perceived slight to his manhood. Let him know that you understand, you still love him, and it doesn’t bother you.
  • Don’t take it personally. Immediately assuming that it’s somehow related to you could cause further problems.
  • Give him some space and time. It could be that his head is just cluttered and stressed. Give him a moment to relax and clear his head so he can try again. 
  • Switch positions or activities. Changing things up could provide the excitement he needs to get ready for action. Or, switch to oral or manual stimulation. Find other things to do while he mentally regroups. 
  • Help him relax. Along with reassuring him that you aren’t bothered, ask him to take a few deep breaths. Close his eyes. Put on some music, give him a massage, maybe some kisses and caresses. Taking him to a more relaxed place can help him realign his mind, body, and sex drive. 

If it’s not happening, it’s not happening. Sex isn’t always succesful. Take it in stride, don’t get too annoyed about it, explore other forms of sex and stimulation, and hope for better luck next time. 

Okay… But What if He Keeps Having This Problem?

If this is a recurring situation, you may need to take some additional steps. 

Start by having a conversation with him about it. See if he has any insight into why it might be happening. Take it a step further by going to a couples’ counselor or sex therapist to get a professional diagnosis. 

From there, you may discover that you have some issues as a couple to work through. You may also discover that the condition is medical, not psychological, and you can explore some treatment options. 

If blood flow is a problem, then some lifestyle changes could improve his sexual health. A better diet (cutting out fat and alcohol) and some cardio exercises (jogging, swimming, biking) can help improve his blood flow. Reducing or quitting smoking could also help. 

Additionally, there are several treatments he could explore.

Medical Treatments to Help with Erection Difficulties

A vacuum device could work by boosting blood flow to the penis. This is common for men who have recently undergone an operation that requires rehabilitating their penis, such as prostate surgery. However, it may take several months to see results. 

Surgery is another option, in which a prosthesis is implanted inside the penis. Unfortunately, surgery comes with a risk of infection, simply not working, erosion of the penile skin, and a multitude of other health risks.

Men have found success with an injection of platelet-rich plasma, or called the P-Shot, extracted from their own blood. This plasma has growth and healing factors that can help rejuvenate the penis, trigger the growth of new blood vessels while clearing the plaque within the veins. 

Another successful treatment used in combination with the P-Shot, is Novowave...sound waves to promote the growth of new blood vessels in the penis, allowing for improved and harder erections.

To learn more about the sexual dysfunction treatments provided by Novus Anti-Aging Center in Los Angeles and Studio City, California, simply fill out the form below.

Don’t let erectile dysfunction hurt your relationship or your sex life. By exploring different ways to achieve an erection, you can find a solution that makes everyone happy.


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